


우리, 다시 (us, again)

by cairusvt



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 2020 Christmas, 2020 New Year, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I love this song so mfing much stream us again you ungrateful (ca)rats, Jeon Wonwoo & Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi are Best Friends, Kinda sad i guess but yeah, M/M, Mentioned Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Soulmates SoonWoo bec i cannot process the fact that Wonwoo isn't the main character, mentioned Jeon Wonwoo/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28364568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cairusvt/pseuds/cairusvt
Summary: Until the day we sing together againUntil that day, this road leading to you isn’t going to endAll the reasons and this road are beautiful because you are hereWhen we reach the halfway point of this roadSo that you don’t get tired of it anymore,I’ll protect youNo matter what happens,let’s be sure to meet again...
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK
Kudos: 8





	우리, 다시 (us, again)

  
  


When the clock struck twelve, Soonyoung hugged his team and cheered out loud. He makes sure to turn to smile at one of the cameras, waving his hands, and then he greets other groups and idols on stage along with him. There's a few more minutes of screen time needed for them in the show so he stays by his team of backup dancers and just greets every idol that passes by their spot. 

When he's finally out of the line and inside of their van, Soonyoung stares at his phone then stares at the side of Jeonghan's face and then back at his phone. Soonyoung knows it's two in the morning. He's tired, his mind is ready to pass out but his adrenaline is keeping his body awake and jittery, and he unlocks his phone once again and stares at the message. 

**Wonwoo:**

_ not that ur coming anyways but _

_ hes here _

_ Just thought you should know  _

The winky face Wonwoo had added at the end just about makes soonyoung lose his head and he smiles at himself. "Hey, hyung?" Jeonghan turns to him, finally looking up from his phone, and Soonyoung smiles. "What do you say about an after party?" Soonyoung asks and Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. "I'd say you're not my Soonyoung and will ask Jihyun to drive back." Jeonghan says and Soonyoung laughs. "Not like, for that. My highschool club is throwing a christmas party and they're doing it here for the first time." Soonyoung says and Jeonghan locks his phone and smiles. "Are you asking permission to go to a party?" Jeonghan asks and Soonyoung groans. "Go tell Jihyun where it's at Jeonghan says and Soonyoung blinks. "What? Go. Tell him." Jeonghan says and Soonyoung laughs. He screams about where the party is, Jihyun laughing as he complains about idols and their big egos thinking he could just yell at him, and then he winks at soonyoung through the rearview mirror. 

Soonyoung was about to message Wonwoo back when Joenghan tugs at his wrist and asks him to look at him. "Soonyoung. I know you know better but i'm just saying this to be sure. You have to be smart, okay? You're free to post pics and all but only when the party's done. Drink only what you can handle and call me if you need a ride home." Jeonghan says and Soonyoung smiles and nods. "I'll be fine, I'll get a ride home, hyung. And I probably won't drink anything after all the coffee I have still in me." Soonyoung says and Jeonghan smiles. "Have fun, okay? And be careful. i'm trusting you to be smart okay?" Soonyoung nods and Jihyun tells them they're close. "Oh God, wait. Hyung. I'm still on my stage clothes." Soonyoung says and Jeonghan laughs. He turns and digs through the bags behind their seat and hands Soonyoung a small bag. "Here. Just leave the coat on and change inside. Unless you want to like, brag." Jeonghan says and Soonyoung rolls his eyes. 

Jihyun parks right in front of the restobar, it was one of those high end one where you can get a whole room for yourselves and Soonyoung messages Wonwoo before getting off the van. "Cell phone stays on and be back before sunrise or else you're grounded, you hear me?" Jeonghan says and he hugs Soonyoung before going back in the van. Soonyoung turns, was just about to take a step closer to the door, when Wonwooo bursts out of the door, wide eyes, and Soonyoung was too surprised to say anything else. "Oh my God. You're actually here." Wonwoo says and then he tackles Soonyoung into a hug. 

Wonwoo has been Soonyoung's soulmate since middle school. Soonyoung's lack of restraint in both his words and actions was just the right balance for Wonwoo and his knack for blending in where no one would find him. Wonwoo had once told him how much he had loved the way Soonyoung has helped him through their shitty school years and Soonyoung only confessed the same. Which is why Wonwoo was even in the same theater club as Soonyoung back in college. They made him handle all the stage stuff and he's proven to be a great bait for freshmen to join by making him the face of their posters. They tried to see if it was more, if what they had was more than just that, but it ends in just a month of dating because both of them honestly just felt a bit off. Granted they've always eaten together, lived together throughout college, and even slept together in one bed one their finest broke moments in college. They've always been together and Soonyoung is honestly very sad that the thing that successfully pulls them apart is his dreams. But it's not enough distance to get in between what they have. It also explains how Wonwoo would know it's him even under a mask, a cap and a huge coat on. 

"I am gonna pretend you're here because you missed me and love me and that it's not because you know he's here." Wonwoo says against his neck and Soonyoung smacks his back and pushes him off. Wonwoo visibly shivers, smiling stupidly at him. and Soonyoung pushes him inside. "I'm not too late, am I?" Soonyoung asks and Wonwoo shrugs. "Most people came in about half an hour before midnight. Come on." Wonwoo says and he tugs at Soonyoung’s wrist and takes him upstairs. Soonyoung shoulders his bag and lets Wonwoo drag him inside one of the rooms on the second floor and Soonyoung can't help but smile at the chaos waiting for them inside. "Hey! Everyone!" Wonwoo screams and Soonyoung tugs on his hand and slaps his shoulder as everyone stops what they were doing and turns to look at them. "I humbly present to you, our very own Hoshi." Wonwoo says and he pulls Soonyoung forward. Everyone stares in silence and Soonyoung takes off his cap and his mask and then does his signature introduction.

And then everyone screams. 

Wonwoo immediately pulls Soonyoung back by his coat and shoves everyone back with his other hand and Soonyoung laughs. He sees a few familiar faces, Seungyeon and Mingyu standing out from the crowd as they wave excitedly at him and most of the people crowding him are from the dance team part of their little theater club. "Hyung! You're here!" Chan says, getting past Wonwoo's arm and hugging Soonyoung. "Alright Everyone back off or i'm gonna start taking names and letting everyone know you mobbed Hoshi." Wonwoo says and everyone quiets down. "Really?" Soonyoung asks and Wonwoo shrugs. "You're fans are crazy and very protective. I love that about them." Wonwoo says and everyone takes a step back and just smiles at him. "I'm just gonna go change." Wonwoo nods and he pulls most of the crowd waya but Chan is still clinging onto him. "Are you drunk already?" Soonyoung asks and Chan smiles, shaking his head no, obviously drunk. Soonyoung heads out of the room with Chan still latched onto him and follows the signs to the bathroom. He pulled up his mask as they walked down the hallway and he had to physically pry Chan off of him before getting inside a cubicle and changing. 

Chan was Soonyoung's favorite out of all the freshmen that joined their club when he was on his fourth year. He was loud and sweet and way too in love with performing than anyone Soonyoung has ever met. He talks to Soonyoung over the door as Soonyoung changes and Soonyoung laughs at Chan's drunk attempt at interrogating him.  _ "So, do you really get idol's numbers in your Inkigayo sandwiches?" "How do you do that one move you did in your last comeback?" "How much is it to like, slee one of your pre-debut photos? I have a whole album of them because I think I had a crush on you then."  _ Soonyoung had to change faster in order to get out and to shut Chan up before he says any more and he's surprised to see Chan hunched over by the sink, splashing his face with cold water, as he stands next to him and rubs his back.

"To be fair, half of us had a crush on you back then. Don't let it get to your head, mister hot-shot idol." Seokmin says, rubbing Chan's back, and Chan straightens up his back and frowns at Seokmin. "Yeah, well I was his favorite!" Chan says and Seokmin nods, smiling. "I was, too." Seokmin says and Chan gasps. "You were two-timing us?" Chan says, turning to Soonyoung, and Seokmin laughs as Soonyoung sighs. "Chan, no more drinking tonight." Soonyoung says and Chan huffs, stomping out of the bathroom and slamming the door on his way out. "Now my number one fan hates me." Soonyoung says and Seokmin raises an eyebrow. "No I don't. What do you mean?" Seokmin says and Soonyoung rolls his eyes and smiles. "Hi, hyung. It's been a while." Seokmin says and Soonyoung takes a deep breath. "I can't believe we're meeting at a comfort room of all places." Soonyoung says and Seokmin laughs. "Well, as much as I want you all to myself, I'm pretty sure everyone's waiting for you in there. Come on." Soonyoung nods and walks out into the hallway and paces himself to walk alongside Seokmin. "So how have you been?" Soonyoung asks and Seokmin smiles. "Actually, I was going to say this to everyone later on but, uhm. You're not going to believe my next job. I've always had supporting roles and all but now i got the lead." Seokmin says and Soonyoung hits his arm. "That's amazing! I told you you were made for theater!" Soonyoung says and Seokmin smiles, the soft and sort of bashful one he always had when he can't take the compliment. "Guess what play it is." Seokmin asks and Soonyoung blinks. "What? why?" "Just guess. You'll know." Seokmin says and Soonyoung thinks. Really thinks.

Oh. 

No way.

"Is it... No way. No way it's that." Soonyoung says and they open the door to their room. "You remember our deal, right?" Seokmin asks and Soonyoung could feel himself blushing. Seokmin smiles at him, cheeks a bit flush as he stares back, and Soonyoung just keeps staring as Wonwoo drags him inside the room by his arm and pushes him down on a seat. 

Seokmin is the first freshman Soonyoung has ever recruited in their club. He was a shy and a bit awkward at first but he then fought that off by making dumb awkward jokes that all of them just can't help but laugh to. He was a year younger than him and Wonwoo but Soonyoung already finds it easier to learn his head on his shoulder when they're just hanging around their club room, sitting on the floor with their backs on the wall. He was also a bit more broad, his physique contrasting his soft personality and Soonyoung won't deny liking how Seokmin used to follow him around a lot back then. It led to a lot of teasing. Teasing that Soonyoung just rolls his eyes and teasing that has Seokmin blushing. He's adorable that way. 

"Hello? Earth to superstar." Soonyoung snaps out of his thoughts and blinks. Wonwoo sighs next to him and Chungha and Seungyeon laughs at him. "You've had one conversation with him and you're already back to how you were back then. He got you good." Chungha says, smiling at him and Soonyoung groans. "Shut up." Soonyoung says and Chungha just drinks. "I missed how stupid we all were back then. remember when we bleached everyone's hair?" Seungyeon asks and Wonwoo slams his glass on the table. "You mean the time you dyed my hair green as a joke?" Wonwoo asks, using his cold voice, and Seungyeon laughs. "Actually i don't remember that." Seungyeon says, laughing nervously, and Soonyoung smiles at the memory. "That's why we started calling you blondie, right? You and Mingyu were the only ones who looked good after that mess." Soonyoung says to Chungha and she nods. "I had to dye my hair red to make myself not look like a mess. Why did we even do that?" Soonyoung asks and Wonwoo laughs. "We lost a bet against the glee club. They had more recruits that year and we were short two people, i think." Wonwoo says and Soonyoung sighs. Chungha then taps her finger in front of Soonyoung's plate and smiles. "Okay as much as i want to catch up with you and your superstar life, I think someone wants to talk to you." Chungha says, looking behind Soonyoung's shoulder, and Soonyoung turns to find Seokmin walking up to them. "Hi." Seokmin says, smiling, and Soonyoung smiles. "Hi." Wonwoo then gets up from his seat and clears his throat. "Right on time. The three of us are just about to go and talk to someone about, uh, bleach." "Bleach?" Seokmin asks and Wonwoo nods. "Bleach. Keep him company for a while, yeah?" Wonwoo asks and Chungha pulls Seungyeon up from his chair and drags him out of the table, following Wonwoo towards another table. 

"So, mister Hoshi, how is life?" Seokmin asks and Soonyoung laughs softly as he takes the seat next to him and sets his glass of beer down. "If you wanna find out about Hoshi's life then a simple Naver search would've been enough." Soonyoung says and Seokmin laughs. "Oh wow. Okay. I'm so sorry for having wasted your time." Seokmin teases, pretending to walk away as he gets up and Soonyoung tugs at his wrist and pulls him down. "But Soonyoung, on the other hand, is doing fine. He missed this." Soonyoung says and he looks around the room and smiles at all the drunk faces he's seen all throughout his best and worst years. "I missed you, too." Soonyoung says, staring at Seokmin and running his thumb across the younger's wrist. Seokmin looks down at their hands and he smiles softly. "I did too. Miss you, I mean." Seokmin says and he says it without lifting his gaze. "I didn't think i had... I didn't know if you'd want me to contact you after that." Seokmin says and Soonyoung shrugs. "It would've been better than nothing. I had to be updated by Wonwoo about your roles. I had to pretend I didn't want to watch when you would perform on my free days." Soonyoung says and Seokmin chances a glance at him and then he pulls Soonyoung's hand from his wrist and threads their fingers together. "I know I'm like, three years too late, but I am sorry. I was-" "Don't. It's okay." Soonyoung says and Seokmin holds his hand tighter. 

The party lasted not longer than a couple of hours after he came. Seokmin was by Soonyoung's side the entire night and if anyone noticed it, nobody said anything more than just smiling and saying they missed seeing them together. "That was your little ship name, right? Dashi?" Wonwoo asks, smiling as he waits for the two to get in his car after he's offered to drive them both home. " _ The King _ and _ Hoshi _ . It seems fitting now that you've met up again." Wonwoo says and Soonyoung hits his shoulder. Wonwoo smiles as he winks at Soonyoung and Soonyoung turns to see Seokmin smiling. Wonwoo drops Seokmin off first, he's staying at a not so cheap condo unit right around the vicinity and Soonyoung found himself stepping out of the car as Seokmin did. "Do you have plans tomorrow? Or, maybe later in the day?" Seokmin asks and Soonyoung knows he's free for a couple of days. "Not really. Why?" Soonyoung asks and Seokmin steps forward and holds his hands. "I'm cashing out on our deal." Seokmin says and he leans forward and kisses his cheek. Soonyoung stood there, frozen, as Seokmin walked away and into the building. He only wakes up from his daze when Wonwoo hits his horn a couple of times, smiling as Soonyoung sits back in his passenger seat shivering. "So I guess that answers that." Wonwoo says and Soonyoung glares at his smug smile. 

Soonyoung asks Wonwoo if he had wanted to stay the night, smiling when he admits how much he misses him, and Wonwoo agrees only after a phone call to his not-boyfriend-but-is-more-like-a-husband and Soonyoung smiles when he sees Wonwoo's face as he says a soft good night. "So, when are you going to introduce me to your, uh, guy?" Soonyoung asks and Wonwoo sighs. "Okay. You can call him my boyfriend. And I'm never going to introduce you if I can help it. He's a fan." Wonwoo says and Soonyoung laughs. "No way." "We met at the fan meet you invited me to." Wonwoo admits and Soonyoung laughs harder. "Shut up or i'm driving home." Wonwoo says and Soonyoung laughs. Soonyoung invites him in his usually lonely unit and Wonwoo nit picks at his stuff thrown around the place. Soonyoung really missed him. He told Wonwoo to go get changed in his bedroom as he makes the tea and Wonwoo stares at him with a terrified look. "Tea? What the hell?" Wonwoo says and Soonyoung throws a stray shoe at him and Wonwoo laughs as he asks to take a shower. Soonyoung leaves his electronic kettle and grabs a couple of mugs and two bags of his favorite lavender tea and he waits for the water to boil and for Wonwoo to come out. He sends a message to Jeonghan, attaching a photo of his tea, and tells him he's home safe. Jeonghan sends him a thumbs up, a 'Merry Christmas', and then a reminder to get some rest. 

Wonwoo comes out of his room as he was pouring water on their tea and Wonwoo walks up to him only to grab his cup, sways his cup as he dips the teabag up and down his cup, and then smiles at Soonyoung. "So. You never really got over him, huh?" Wonwoo asks and Soonyoung sighs. "Nope. Also it's not just me, right? He really did get hotter?" Soonyoung asks and Wonwoo nods. "He told me he's been working out for like, better breath control while singing?" Wonwoo asks and Soonyoung nods. "Were you two talking earlier?" Soonyoung asks and Wonwoo sighs. "I guess. But all he wanted to talk about was you so i don't know if it counts." Wonwoo says and he sits on Soonyoung's counter and smiles at him. "Shut up." "It's true. I feel used. This is why Vernon's never gonna know his idol is in love with me." Wonwoo says and Soonyoung kicks his feet. "As if. Also I'm not above using connections so if you wanna impress him just bring him backstage at my concert next year." Soonyoung says and Wonwoo laughs. "Shut up." "Also you're the one in love with me." Soonyoung argues and Wonwoo scoffs. "Oh no. You don't get to spread that kind of gossip mister big shot idol." Wonwoo says and Soonyoung laughs. Wonwoo sets down his mug and soonyoung steps in and hugs him. 

"You're doing okay, right?" Wonwoo asks and Soonyoung nods against his chest. "Good. And take a break some time, okay?" Wonwoo says and Soonyoung nods. "How about you?" "I'm okay. From what you tell me I think architects and idols get almost the same amount of sleep." Wonwoo says and Soonyoung laughs. "I barely get sleep, Wonwoo." "I know." Wonwoo says and Soonyoung rolls his eyes. "And Vernon is great. You know, despite being a Hoshi stan." Wonwoo says and Soonyoung pulls back and punches his stomach. Wonwoo groans and pulls Soonyoung back by turning him around, locking him in a head lock and Soonyoung laughs as he tugs off Wonwoo's arms. Wonwoo messes his hair as he walks back and he smiles at him. 

After their tea has gone cold and both of them are lying on Soonyoung's bed, Soonyoung turns to lie on his side and he watches as Wonwoo fights off his sleep. "Thank you." Soonyoung says and Wonwoo scoffs. "For?" "Sticking around." Soonyoung says and Wonwoo laughs. "Well, it's not easy. But you're welcome." Wonwoo says and he turns his head to smile at Soonyoung. 

They managed to sleep for around three hours, waking up a little past eight, and they tag team making the heaviest brunch Soonyoung has had for a long while. Wonwoo raided his fridge for anything he can add which is why they ended up with a lot of fried greasy stuff, a couple of eggs each, and then sharing a huge bowl of ramen in front of Soonyoung's barely used T.V. in the living room. Wonwoo made him promise to meet him during the new year and Soonyoung knows that he's free for a day then too so he did. Wonwoo drives home around noon and that's when Soonyoung called him. 

_ "Hello?"  _

"Hey, uh, is this Seokmin?" Soonyoung asks and he hears him grunt before saying yes. 

"This is Soonyoung." Soonyoung says and he hears a soft thud on the other end of the line before he hears rustling. 

_ "Oh, uhm. Shit. Sorry, I just woke up. Uhm. Hi. Hi hyung." _ Seokmin says and Soonyoung can't help but smile. 

"It's just me, come on. You haven't forgotten about our date, right?" Soonyoung asks and he can hear the exact moment he holds his breath. 

"Wasn't that our deal back then? When you get the King Arthur role of an actual show then you'll take me out on a date." Soonyoung says and he has no idea where his little burst of confidence came from. 

_ "Oh! Uh, right. Of course. Fuck, uhm..." _

"We can go out for lunch first. Call me here when you're ready, okay?" Soonyoung asks and Seokmin takes a deep breath and laughs. 

_ "Oh my God. Uh, okay." _ Seokmin says and Soonyoung laughs too. 

_ "This is really happening right?"  _ Seokmin asks and Soonyoung rolls his eyes before saying goodbye. 

Soonyoung washes up and changes into warm clothes, sending Jeonghan a message of him going out and he sends him his usual reminders. Soonyoung scrolls through his social media, seeing the photos from last night being posted by official accounts and then seeing photos of the party going around with his friends' faces covered up. Soonyoung tweets a short 'Merry Christmas' tweet with a selfie of him wearing a black coat and he posts the photos on his instagram as well. He then shares photos of last night on his unofficial instagram and he made sure to just post group photos like how Jeonghan had thought him. He's always in the center of the photos and he's always looking at just the camera. He doesn't tag his friends on them but he did like every photo he was tagged in and posts them on his instagram story. He then sees that their university's official social media account had posted their photo as well, mentioning that the K-pop idol Hoshi is an alumni and all, and Soonyoung lets it be and likes the photo. Just then he receives a message from Seokmin's number and he smiles at how even his message sound as shy and awkward as he does. Soonyoung asks him where he would like to meet up and Seokmin asks if he could come pick him up. Seokmin then follows it up with how he doesn't have to if Soonyoung doesn't want to tell Seokmin his address and all that so Soonyoung just sends him his address and tells him to hurry. 

Seokmin is as bright and warm now as he was years ago. They didn't get to talk much last night but just being by his side the entire night was enough. But now, sitting at the private corner of a tiny cafe, Soonyoung just can't help but press himself closer to him, letting their elbows touch and holding their cups as an excuse to press the back of their hands together. Seokmin tells him of his rehearsals and extensive training to use a sword and he even shows him his promotional poster photo of him holding a sword in his chainmail costume with his hair curled and his face grunged up. Soonyoung tells him how handsome he is and he immediately feels like he has crossed a line given how Seokmin tenses next to him. "It definitely beats the poster we had for our Excalibur play." Soonyoung says and Seokmin laughs it off. 

After their not so light lunch there, Seokmin had asked him to go for a short walk and Soonyoung nodded, putting his mask back on. "I still can't wrap my head around how famous you are. My mom saw our group photo from last night and asked me why i didn't bring you home." Seokmin says and Soonyoung laughs. "No I- I meant to bring you to her! Not- Come on, hyung." Seokmin pleads and Soonyoung laughs. "You haven't changed much, have you?" Soonyoung asks and Seokmin shrugs. "I can hit lower notes now." Seokmin says and Soonyoung nods. "You look like you can hit, too." Soonyoung says and he taps his biceps and smiles. Seokmin rolls his eyes and pushes Soonyoung away and Soonyoung laughs harder. 

After that, Seokmin offers Soonyoung a ticket to a gallery being held at the edge of the city and he drives them there with Soonyoung's song blasting through his car's stereo. Soonyoung asks Seokmin about his schedule for his plays and Seokmin avoids the topic and turns up Soonyoung's song. "No work talk for the day, okay?" Seokmin asks and Soonyoung nods. "Then you don't get to play my song. That's work related." "Well my non work relaxing time includes your song so it stays on." Seokmin says and Soonyoung huffs. 

Soonyoung remembers Minghao. He was soft spoken like Mingyu and Seokmin but he only ever sees Minghao when it's just the four of them and sometimes after their performances. He knew he was a fine arts major and he had always wanted to be closer to him but Soonyoung seems to be a bit too loud for them back then. But now, he's a lot more there. He's standing up straighter and he'd speak up louder, Seokmin introduced him again to Minghao but Minghao just smiles and pulls Soonyoung in for a hug. Minghao tours them around his exhibit, bright yet kind of sad pieces that are all individually different but together paints a bigger picture. Soonyoung is honestly amazed at how beautiful they all are and Minghao even asks for him to come to his next ones in the future. And if Minghao noticed their hands clasped together the entire time they walked around his exhibit, he didn't say anything about it. Just smiles at them as they said their goodbyes and even offered to take their photo right outside the main entrance. 

For dinner, Soonyoung hi-jacks Seokmin's dinner plans when he finds out he hasn't made any reservations and he tells him to go to his trusted grocery store and offers Seokmin a home cooked dinner to end their date. They goofed around for almost an hour in the store, dumping too many stuff in their cart and then brainstorming about what they could make with the ingredients and when they were standing in front of the alcoholic beverages aisle, Soonyoung timidly grabs a six pack without looking at Seokmin. Seokmin then asks him to get another one and he looks up and sees him looking away as well. It's almost a silent agreement on the matter. Seokmin staying the night. 

Something about the whole day makes Soonyoung feel like he's back in college. Especially the drive from the grocery store to his condo. They've done it hundreds of times before. Laughing with the windows down and cold wind rushing past their ears. But now Seokmin's voice was a lot deeper, louder and a lot more full as he laughed at Soonyoung's attempt of reminiscing, and they would try to hold in their laughter as they made their way up to Soonyoung's unit. Soonyoung had taken his jacket from him and he took a couple of seconds staring at Seokmin's broad shoulders before hanging their jackets in his closet and taking a deep breath. Cooking was a lot more fun now, though, because they actually know what they're doing. But instead of making an actual dish they just fried everything they bought that could be fried and Seokmin laughed at Soonyoung when they realized he hadn't turned the rice cooker on so they had to wait for it to cook while drinking their second cans of beer. By the time it was done, they're well into their third cans. It might be because they left it for a lot longer than they should but Soonyoung is gonna pretend it only just finished cooking to not feel guilty for all the minutes he spent looking at just Seokmin's smile. 

When all that's left on their table are the rice cakes they tried to fry and all the loose threads of their past finally being pulled taut, Soonyoung sets down his empty can of beer next to their plate and turns to face Seokmin on the couch. Both of them sitting with their sides to the back of the couch, facing each other, and this time Soonyoung decided to leave only a little space between them. "I missed this." Seokmin says. He lifts a hand up to Soonyoung's face and Soonyoung leans to the touch. "I missed you." Seokmin adds and Soonyoung smiles when Seokmin's hands slide up the back of his neck and Soonyoung waits for the second he pulls him in and he leans forward with his eyes closed to kiss him. 

Seokmin's lips are something Soonyoung could only imagine throughout the years he needed him the most. Seokmin's rough hands pull him in gently, letting Soonyoung blindly crawl to him and set himself on his lap. Soonyoung wraps his arms around his neck and he gasps as Seokmin's hands slips under his clothes. "Sorry." Seokmin says, their lips still barely apart as they breathe each other's air. "You're hands are warm." Soonyoung says and he kisses him again. Seokmin runs his palm over as much of Soonyoung's skin as he can and it was Seokmin's time to pull back gasping when Soonyoung threads his fingers through his hair and tugs on them gently. "Hyung." Seokmin gasps, almost like he's singing to him and him only, and Soonyoung falls weaker when Seokmin pushes him up and kisses his neck. Soonyoung does what he knew Seokmin would like, gasping audibly, being a bit rough with his hands, and Soonyoung almost breaks when Seokmin's hands go to his legs and tightens his grip over his jeans. 

"Wait.  _ Wait wait wait.  _ Hyung I- '' Seokmin stops, pulling back by holding Soonyoung back by his waist, and Soonyoung whines. "I don't want to fuck this up, hyung. Not again." Seokmin says. Soft. Gentle. It almost seems fragile. "You won't. We won't. I promise." Soonyoung says, holding Seokmin's head close to his chest, and he pulls him back. Soonyoung watches as Seokmin seems to look for something in his eyes so he just smiles and kisses him again. "Even if you do. we can try again. We can have us again. No matter how many times we have to try. Okay?" Seokmin nods, tearing up, and Soonyoung can't help but laugh softly. "My soft hearted king." Soonyoung says and Seokmin smiles as he cries. Seokmin leans his head on Soonyoung's chest and Soonyoung just wraps his arms around his shoulder as Seokmin wraps his around him. And Soonyoung missed this, too. 

  
  


Seokmin comes out of Soonyoung's bathroom wearing Soonyoung's clothes and his old unsure smile Soonyoung hasn't seen in years. Soonyoung gets up from his bed and takes the towel from Seokmin's hands, throwing it over his head and drying his hair for him. Soonyoung smiles as Seokmin wraps his arms loosely around him, hiding his face under the towel. "I hope this doesn't make you think I'm still a loser in the ripe age of twenty-three." Seokmin says and Soonyoung laughs. "Who says _ 'ripe age'  _ these days?" Soonyoung asks and he pulls the towel off and lets it hang over his elbow as he fixes Seokmin's hair. "I wish the shower didn't sober me up like this. I want to cry." Seokmin says and Soonyoung laughs. "Don't. Let's just get to bed." Soonyoung says and he pulls Seokmin to his bed, leaving the towel hanging on the bathroom door knob. 

Soonyoung smiles at Seokmin as they both crawl up his bed and as much as he wants to hold Seokmin for the night, he finds himself being pulled against Seokmin's chest, soft but firm and warm. Soonyoung wraps his arms around Seokmin and Seokmin does the same to him. "I really am sorry, hyung. For what i did." Seokmin says and Soonyoung looks up at him and smiles. "Stop apologizing about it already." "But i have to. I... I left you when you needed me the most. I convinced myself that I'm making things easy by letting you go but the truth is I don't want to be there when you realize that you could do so much better than me." Seokmin says and Soonyoung sighs. "You thought i was going to find some idol I'd leave you for?" Soonyougn asks and Seokmin wraps his arms around him tighter. "I was scared that you would. And I didn't want it to come true so i just left. I'm sorry." Seokmin's apologies seem heavier now, more whole than before. Here Soonyoung is, thinking all Seokmin was apologizing for was breaking things off and now he finds out that he did it all because he was scared. 

"But hyung, I'm still scared. But I don't want to be stupid again and let you go. I don't want... I want to prove myself wrong." Seokmin says and Soonyoung sighs. "Seokmin I-" "I love you, hyung." Seokmin says and Soonyoung finds it hard to breathe, much less form any coherent word after that. "I did. I still do. And I'm so so sorry for everything. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry i wasn't there when you were at your lowest and I'm sorry I wasn't there to share your best memories with you." Seokmin's arms are tight around Soonyoung's shoulder and he groans as he hears Seokmin crying again. "My biggest regret is letting you go but my biggest mistake is never running after you after I did." Seokmin says and Soonyoung pushes himself off and scoots up to level his face with Seokmin's. "So no more regrets, right? We start here, again." Soonyoung asks, wiping Seokmin's tears, and Seokmin nods. "Only if you think you can love me again." Seokmin says and Soonyoung pulls Seokmin closer. "I can't love you again, Seokmin. I didn't even know how to stop in the first place." Soonyoung says and he kisses him. Just a quick and soft one before Seokmin starts to cry harder. 

Soonyoung checks his clock, sees that it's only a few minutes before midnight, and he pulls Seokmin closer to his chest. This seems like a fitting way to end his christmas day.


End file.
